__We believe that our clients should be well informed from the beggining of the process. It will be helpful to you and your future attorneys if you can learn as much as you can about your legal rights and obligations under New York family law before you consult an attorney or make further decisions.

This web site provides you with some basic information about New York law on marriage, divorce, separation, annulment, and related issues such as child custody, child visitation, child suppport, spousal support and equitable distribution of marital property. You can also find some information about the legal process in New York State court system.  Our firm's expertise is interstate and international family law.  We offer some of our insights on international family law, foreign divorce laws, interstate child custody and support, and immigration law.
 
Before taking any affirmative action, make a detailed, specific list of everything you want to achieve through the divorce, annulment or separation, consistent with your financial security, your children's best interests, and your life goals.  To effectively achieve your goals, you should develop a strategy and become the manager of your own case.

You should take steps to make financial plans and custodial arrangements, and try to achieve emotional balance.

Financial Planning

    Organize your financial records.

First, put your financial records in order.  Financial data are crucial.  Your attorneys and the judges will make decisions based on the financial evidence that you provide.  You should compile a financial file of your spouse or partner's income from all sources, tangible and intagible assets from all locations,  and personal and business expenses.

Critical financial papers include:

• Bank statements and credit card statements for the past three to five years;
• Pension and any other retirement and employment benefits both you and your spouse are entitled to receive, including year end bonuses, health insurance and life insurance; and
• Copies of deeds to real property and statements of any mortgages or equity loans that are due
• Tax returns for the past three to five years;
• Pay stubs for the past three to five years.
• Receipts for major purchases and prepare an inventory of all of the property and assets acquired during the marriage.

Keep a journal of all expenses with receipts, especially your children's expenses.  Child support is determined by the children's reasonable needs, instead of the parents' combined income when the parents' income exceeds certain threshhold.  Thus, an accounting of your children's basic and major expeneses will be very useful.

Keep a current inventory of your safe deposit boxes, furnishing, art work, jewlery and personal items in your homes.

    Establish personal finance.

Try to establish personal credit relationships (gasoline credit cards, department stores and national credit car companies such as Visa, MasterCard, etc.)

Open a new bank account in your name at a bank where your spouse does not do business. Start putting away as much money as possible, on a regular basis. Later on, when you separate, you will need to have available funds to retain a divorce attorney and to pay for day to day living expenses.  If your spouse withholds financial support, it will place a financial burden on you until an application for temporary support and maintenance can be heard and decided by the court.

Keep all inheritances and gifts separate from the marital estate. Do not put an inheritance or gift into joint names with your spouse. Do not use your inheritance money to pay for family expenses or purchases or to pay down debts.

    Keep working.

Do not quit your job.  Do not close your business or professional practice. It is important to maintain and secure your financial independence and support your children.

Custodial Arrangement

     Take care of your children.

You should spend as much time with your children as you can. Maintain a good relationship with your children's nanny, school and doctors. You should be able to show the court that you are one who primarily takes care of the children's every need.

    Never leave your children behind.

Don't move out your family residence without the children.

    Keep a childcare journal.

Keep a journal of how you and your spouse divide child care responsibilities, and how you interact with your children. Write down schedules of childcare.

    Maintain the continuity of the children's life.

You should try to maintain the continuity of your children's life. If you have to move out, find a residence in a similar neighborhood, keep the children at the same school and use the same housekeeper.

    Try to establish and maintain regular patterns of visitation.

You should try to establish and maintain regular visitation for the children and your spouse.  New York courts will not let a parent keep child custody if he/she interferes with visitation and attempts to alienate the children from another parent.

    Give your children emotional support.

Reassure your children that you love them and that the divorce is not their fault, and explain this in a way that is consistent with your children's ages and maturity level. It is best to be truthful and honest and give children simple and clear answers without blaming anyone. Let your child continue being a child. Don't say negative things about your ex-spouse?even if you feel strongly that they are true. Seek professional help for the children if needed.

Protect your privacy.

Make sure that your personal documents are stored in a personal computer (not shared with any family memeber) or in a safe place.  Keep your business records separated from your personal files.

Clean up your family computers.

Obtain a safe address for your personal mail.


Take Care of Yourself

Remember your life is yours. Get yourself into the best shape you can. Emotional endurance and balance are necessary and powerful to lead you through the divorce in New York. You will probably feel anger, sorrow, fear and sadness. These feelings are completely normal, even if you are the one who chose to end the marriage. And if you allow yourself to grieve normally, you will get through the process and find yourself capable of loving again at some point in the not too distant future. Live your life and move on.

Make sure you get strong emotional support and encouragement from trusted friends and family to help you through the difficult, complex feelings that are associated with the divorce process. Postpone big decisions. Postpone life-altering decisions until you are able to think clearly about relocating or changing jobs or acquiring significant property.

Don't move out of your marital residence.

Do not move out of the family residence without first discussing it with your divorce lawyer.